Know Your Stars: SPD Style
by Vida Thorn
Summary: An All That skit done SPD style. T for language.
1. Syd

Know Your Stars: SPD Style

Announcer: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars. Sydney Drew.

The spotlight shines on Syd.

Syd: Where am I?

Announcer: Hello, Syd.

Syd: Who said that?

Announcer: Sydney Drew. She loves taking bubble baths and playing with rubber duckies.

Syd: What? Who told you that? That is soooo not true.

Announcer: Sydney Drew. She sleeps with a night light and a teddy bear.

Syd: I do not sleep with a night light. And I sleep with an elephant named Peanuts.

Announcer: Sydney Drew. She's secretly in love with Bridge Carson.

Syd: Ewwww. That is totally a lie. Who are you? Why do you keep telling these lies about me?

Announcer: Oh, these aren't lies.

Syd: Yes they are.

Announcer: And now you know. Sydney Drew. The girl who likes bubble baths with rubber duckies, sleeps with a night light and a teddy bear, and has a crush on Bridge Carson.

Syd: What? They don't know me. All you did was tell them lies.

Announcer: Hey, I'm only doing my job.

Syd: You didn't tell them about me. You told them lies.

Announcer: What I said was 100 true.

Syd: No it wasn't!

Announcer: Yes it was.

Syd: That's it. I'm calling my lawyer.

Announcer: Whatever, rubber ducky girl.

Syd: You will be hearing from my lawyer!

With this she storms off the stage. The announcer laughs. 


	2. Z

Announcer: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars. Z Delgado.

Z sits in the chair.

Announcer: Z Delgado. She secretly loves Jack Landors.

Z: What? That is not true. Jack's my brother.

Announcer: Z Delgado. She thinks she can walk through walls.

Z: Ummm, no. I'm a replicator. Jack's the one who can walk through walls.

Announcer: Whatever. Z Delgado. She secretly wishes she could return to the past.

Z: Are you crazy! You have no idea of the past I had.

Announcer: Z Delgado. She secretly loves Sydney Drew.

Z: Dude, you've got some major mental issues.

Announcer: No I don't.

Z: Uh, yeah you do.

Announcer: Nope.

Z: Yeah.

Announcer: And now you know. Z Delgado. The girl who secretly loves Jack and Syd, and wishes she could return to the past.

Z: You are psycho.

Z walks off stage. Announcer chuckles. 


	3. Sky

Announcer: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars. Sky Tate.

Sky sits in chair, bored.

Sky: Let's get this over with this. I need to get back to my training.

Announcer: Sky Tate. He secretly has a crush on Katherine Manx.

Sky: What? Kat? You're nuts.

Announcer: Sky Tate. He secretly sleeps with a stuffed teddy bear.

Sky: What? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Announcer: Sky Tate. He secretly loves Z.

Sky: Dumbass.

Announcer: Hey, be nice.

Sky: Nothing you've said about me is true.

Announcer: Yes it is.

Sky: No it isn't.

Announcer: Yes it is.

Sky: No it isn't.

Announcer: And now you know. Sky Tate. He secretly loves Katherine Manx and Z Delgado, and sleeps with a teddy bear.

Sky: What? They don't know me.

Announcer: Yes they do.

Sky: All you did was tell some lies.

Announcer: They weren't lies.

Sky: Yes they were.

Announcer: Nuh uh.

Sky: Uh huh.

Announcer: Whatever.

Sky: Come down and say that to my face.

Announcer laughs. 


	4. Bridge

Announcer: Know your stars, know you stars, know your stars. Bridge Carson.

Bridge: Uh, hi.

Announcer: Hi, Bridge.

Bridge: How are you today?

Announcer: I'm just fine.

Bridge: So, what are we doing today?

Announcer: I'm telling your fans about you.

Bridge: Cool.

Announcer: Bridge Carson: He loves bungee jumping.

Bridge: What? No I don't.

Announcer: Bridge Carson. He secretly loves Z Delgado.

Bridge: Well, when she's around my hand does start to sweat. And when my hand sweats, my arm itches,. And when my arm itches, my leg starts tingling. And when my legs tingles, my foot starts to tremble. And when my foot trembles, my head hurts. And when my head hurts…

Announcer: Whatever. Bridge Carson. He speaks in tongues because he can't speak English.

Bridge: Okay, that was stupid. I'm speaking English right now.

Announcer: Think what you want. And now you know. Bridge Carson. He loves bungee jumping, has a crush on Z, and can't speak English.

Bridge: Those are all lies.

Announcer: No they're not.

Bridge: Yes they are. 


	5. Jack

Announcer: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars. Miley Cyrus.

Jack looks up in surprise.

Jack: Who?

Announcer: Oh, I'm sorry. That's next week's special guest. My bad.

Jack: Who's Miley Cyrus?

Announcer: Hannah Montana.

Jack: Okay, whatever. Just start over.

Announcer: Right. Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars. Shaun Morgan.

Jack: Hello, wrong person.

Announcer: Oops. Wrong name. Oh, where is it?

Sound of papers shuffling is heard.

Jack: This is so boring.

Announcer: Ah, here it is.

Jack: Can we start, now?

Announcer: Sure. Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars. Axl Rose.

Jack: Wrong person, dammit!

Announcer: Ooops. Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars. Nikki Sixx.

Jack growls.

Jack: My name is Jack Landors!

Announcer: Sorry. Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars. London Tipton.

Jack stands up and walks offstage.

Announcer: Ah, here it Is. Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars. Jack Landors.

The light shines on the empty seat.

Announcer: Jack? Uh, Jack. Where'd you go, Jack? 


	6. Sam

Announcer: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars. Sam.

Little Sam walks onto the stage and sits in the chair.

Announcer: Hello, Sam.

Sam: Can we move that spotlight?

Announcer: Sorry. No can-do.

Sam teleports it to another side of the stage.

Sam: There we go. That thing was blinding me.

Announcer: Sam. He likes to eat at Piggy's.

Sam: Oh, gross.

Announcer: Sam. He wants to switch back to working with Mora.

Sam: Are you nuts? That girl's a freak.

Announcer: Sam. He hates Z Delgado.

Sam: No way. Z's my friend. Without her, I would never have realized that I was doing what was wrong.

Announcer: And now you know. Sam.

Sam: What? That's not right. You lied about me.

Announcer laughs.

Sam: Hey. That's not fair.

Announcer: What are you going to do about it? Call my mommy?

Sam: I'm gonna teleport you to the junkyard if you don't tell them the truth.

Announcer: Big words for such a small boy.

Sam: And I'm not afraid to do it, either.

Announcer: Ooh, I'm shaking in my boots.

Sam stands up and walk around the stage until he finds a button.

Announcer: Don't push that button.

Sam pushes the button. The announcer falls onto the stage. Sam teleports him to the junkyard.

Sam: Maybe I could give this Know Your Stars thing a try. Oh, Doggie's next. Cool. 


	7. Doggie

Sam: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars. Doggie Cruger.

Doggie growls.

Doggie: Who said that? I know that voice.

Sam: Doggie Cruger. He's glad Issynia's dead.

Doggie: What? I've dedicated my life to finding her. I'm not glad about that.

Sam: Doggie Cruger. He loooooves…

Z walks in.

Z: Sam, get down here.

Doggie: Sam?

Sam drops down onto the stage.

Sam: Hey, Z. How are you, Doggie?

Z: Look who I found in the junkyard.

The announcer appears. When he speaks, his voice is high-pitched and squeaky.

Announcer: What you did wasn't very nice.

Sam: Didn't you have a deep voice?

Announcer: Someone else does the voice.

Z: Then why isn't he the announcer?

Announcer: Uh… I needed the money.

The REAL announcer voice is heard.

Announcer voice: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars. Doggie Cruger.

Doggie growls.

Voice: Doggie Cruger. He loooooves Kat Manx.

Doggie: What… No… Who told you that?

Voice: So it's true?

Doggie: Uh.. No.. of course not.

Voice: And now you know. Doggie Cruger.

Voice laughs. 


	8. Kat

Announcer: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars. Katherine Manx.

Kat: Huh? Who's there?

Announcer: Hello, Kat.

Kat: Who said that?

Announcer: No one. I'm just a part of your imagination.

Kat hisses.

Kat: I graduated at the top of my class, buddy. I know someone's there. Show yourself.

Announcer: Why should I?

Kat hisses again.

Announcer: Oh, I'm so scared.

Announcer laughs.

Announcer: Kat Manx. She loves to sing along with Josie and The Pussycats.

Kat: Wait… How did you know about that? That was my best kept secret.

Announcer: Kat Manx. She loves Doggie Cruger.

Kat gets nervous.

Kat: Uh… no… Totally not true.

She looks around the room, nervously.

Announcer: Yes it is.

Kat: No… it's not true.

Announcer: Kat Manx. She secretly wants to be a rock star.

Kat: What? How do you know all of my secrets?

Announcer laughs.

Announcer: Now you know. Kat Manx. The girl who loves Doggie Cruger, Josie and The Pussycats, and secretly wants to be a rock star.

Kat: How do you know my secrets?

Announcer: I am the great Wizard Of Newtech.

Kat: Very funny. That's a take-off of the Wizard of Oz. 


	9. Sam II

Announcer: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars. Sam.

Omega Sam walks onto the stage, powers down, then sits in the chair.

Announcer: Sam. He loooooves Nova.

Sam: What? No. Nova's my partner. We're just friends.

Announcer: Sam. He thinks he's better than Jack Landors.

Sam: Think? I don't think. I know I'm better than him.

Announcer: Whatever, Sam.

Sam: Don't whatever me. I'll teleport you to the junkyard.

Announcer: Sam. He think I'm going to fall for that trick again.

Sam: Ha. I always loved that trick.

Announcer: Sam. He's afraid of the bogeyman.

Sam: The bogeyman? Whatever, dude.

Announcer laughs.

Announcer: And now you know. Sam. The boy who loooooves Nova, think he's better than Jack, and is afraid of the bogeyman.

Announcer laughs. 


End file.
